How to write a love letter (with examples)

What makes a love letter work

Specific beats grand. "You're amazing" is kind, but anyone could write it to anyone. "I love the way you hum when you cook and pretend you don't" could only be about one person, and that's what makes them feel seen.

One real memory does more than a list of compliments. If you remember what they wore, what the weather was doing or what they said, put it in.

And write the way you talk. If you'd never say "my beloved" out loud, don't write it. They want to hear your voice.

A simple shape in five parts

• Their name. The one you actually call them, not their full name.
• Why you're writing now. "I was thinking about you on the way home and wanted to write it down before the feeling passed." One line is enough.
• One memory. A single moment, told with small details.
• What you love about them. Two or three things. Choose things they do and who they are, not only how they look.
• Something that looks forward. A promise, a plan, or simply "I'm glad it's you." Then sign it the way you'd sign a message to them.

That's all a love letter needs. Five short paragraphs is plenty; five lines can be enough.

Short examples to start from

Change the names and details to yours. The details are the part that matters.

• When it's new

  Tomi, I've noticed that the best part of my day is usually the part with you in it. Last Saturday, when the rain caught us and you laughed instead of running, I knew I was in trouble. I like who I am around you, and I'd like to find out what comes next. Yours, Dayo.

• When you're far apart

  Amara, it's late here and I keep reaching for my phone to tell you small things: the song in the taxi, the man selling the exact snacks you like. Distance is mostly a list of things I'm saving to tell you. Eighteen days. I'm counting. Always, Chidi.

• For an anniversary

  Seun, three years ago I didn't know how you take your tea or that you go quiet when you're worried. Now I know both, and a hundred other things, and I love you more for every one of them. Here's to learning the next hundred. All my love, Bisi.

• When you're sorry

  Kemi, I was wrong on Tuesday and I'm sorry. Not sorry that you were upset; sorry for what I said that made you feel that way. You matter more to me than winning an argument. I'll do better, starting with listening. Love, Femi.

• Just because

  Ife, no reason for this letter except that I watched you laugh at your phone this morning and thought: I'm lucky. That's it. That's the letter. Love, me.

What to leave out

• Comparisons. Not with exes, friends or anyone else. The letter is about them.
• Apologies for your writing. "I'm not good with words" takes up the space where your words should be. Just write them.
• "Always" and "never" in an apology. "You always" turns an apology into an argument. Talk about what you did.
• Requests. A love letter isn't the place to ask for something back. Let it be a gift.
• A whole borrowed poem. One borrowed line can open a letter well. The rest should be yours.

Short on time? Borrow a line

Sometimes the right words are already written. Our love note ideas are short, original lines for every mood, from sweet and playful to sorry and missing you. Start from one, then add a single sentence of your own. That sentence is what they'll remember.

How to give it to them

On paper, a letter is lovely left somewhere they'll find it: a bag, a jacket pocket, between the pages of whatever they're reading.

If you're not in the same place, or you'd like the opening to feel like an occasion, you can write a love note on Dearlly. It's sealed in an envelope and sent as a private link. You choose when it opens, they can reply to it, and they can keep it as a picture or PDF.